(See bottom for update)
Apparently the new Vice Presidential candidate never takes his shirt off. And that is too bad because Paul Ryan shirtless photos are in high demand around the world because the congressman from Wisconsin is known to have completely ripped abs. We are willing to put up our money to satisfy our prurient desires. Send us the first legitimate picture of Paul Ryan topless and we will send you one hundred bucks via PayPal.
The picture above is obviously a clever Photoshop but it was too good to omit from this article. It shows the candidate as we all want to see him, on a sandy beach somewhere in dreamland holding a yellow surfboard and gazing in the camera as if to say, “check out these abs, my fellow Americans.” Alas, if only it were true. The pic of Paul Ryan’s abs is an outstanding fake.
The other image in the gallery is a lookalike from a magazine cover which many people have mistaken for Paul Ryan. That is unfortunately actor Matthew Morrison of Glee who definitely has the manly physique we all imagine in the candidate himself. Ryan is famous for his grueling workout routing which begins promptly at 6am every morning and continues until he is needed to do the People’s business.
The reality is there are no published photos of Paul Ryan without his clothing on. His colleagues have seen him in the gym and dutifully report that he is the real deal, toned and firmed like no man in Washington DC has ever come before. He is like a mini version of Arnold Schwarzenegger without the steroid and without the Kennedy baggage clinging to his past like skeletons in a closet.
But somebody has a picture of this beast among political men. We just know it. Could it be an overly-impressed congressional colleague who snapped a picture of Paul Ryan nude in the shower? Could it be a jilted lover who dated the hunky man before he met his lovely wife? Perhaps a disloyal nephew who needs cash for that new Wii game? Maybe a low paid gym worker was gawking with a camera? Maybe the man himself is secretly dying to get this out there once and for all.
So bring it on. One hundred bucks can be yours for a legitimate picture of Paul Ryan shirtless! Let’s see if the man rises to the level of his congressional mythology. Limit one only and the first to send one real pic wins the award. We’ll post it along with the others so bookmark this page and check back later for the goods should we be so lucky as to receive it.
Update: TMZ is the winner of the contest. See a real picture of Paul Ryan topless by going right here. However, note that the pic is 6 years old before his legendary workout routine started.