When a writer says that everything has been heard before, that is usually fluff meant to embellish a story. But in this case, really, truly, now I’ve heard everything. Meet Joyce Maxine Gregory, the North Carolina woman who was charged with malicious castration for grabbing her boyfriend’s winky and trying to tear off the goody.


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The incident occurred in the town of Shelby which is located in Cleveland County, North Carolina over the weekend of June 2nd, 2012. She reportedly argued with a 59-year old man which quickly escalated into taboo territory. He was trying to call 911 during the altercation, so the story goes, and she grabbed his Charlie horse, and well, the rest is history.

Joyce Maxine Gregory was arrested and placed in a police car but was not done with her antics for the day. She reportedly took off her clothing in the back of the car and proceeded to pee pee on the seat. If you are going to challenge societal boundaries, I say go all out.

The injured man is expected to recover so we cannot in good conscience call this event a castration. The hospital patched him up with stitches as if a pinky had been torn off. In this case, of course, smaller is better and easier to repair. You can read more about this story here and read the most interesting police report ever seen here.

Joyce lives in Shelby, North Carolina and is 35 years old. Her birthday is March 11th, 1977, and she lists her occupation as “unemployed.” No surprise there, but I am surprised that this petite woman weights only 115 pounds. Her victim must have been quite a wimp!

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